Disgraceful #author Rachel Fox McLeod

A hilarious and moving debut novel about a woman who writes a ‘f*ck-it’ list to reclaim herself after her marriage unexpectedly implodes.

Forty-nine-year-old Grace Miller is the ultimate good girl. Good wife, good mother, good role model. She has to be, she’s been married to a notable evangelical Christian pastor for nearly thirty years.

But when Grace’s marriage implodes, she realises she’s spent her entire life putting other people’s needs first – and she’s had enough. Determined to shake things up, Grace writes a ‘f*ck-it’ list of fifty bad decisions to complete before she turns fifty. But just as she starts to reclaim herself, her family throws her some unexpected curve balls that threaten to derail the plan.

To connect with Rachel ....
https://www.instagram.com/therealzerofox/
https://therealzerofox.substack.com/about

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

It's good morning, Rachel Fox McLeod. Welcome to Yellow Shelf.

SPEAKER_01 0:07

Thank you, Joe. I'm really excited to be here. It's nice to see your smiling face this morning.

SPEAKER_00 0:12

Thank you for coming. We were just laughing about your book and how I personally can relate to this, but we'll get into that in a moment. Congratulations. Your book is available now, and I've read it. Tell us all about Disgraceful.

SPEAKER_01 0:30

So Disgraceful is about a 49-year-old woman, graced. She's uh so she's almost 50. She is the perfect uh perfect good girl. She's like the epitome of a good girl. She is perfect wife, perfect mother, um, good role model, good friend. She recycles, you know, she's she's just she's that person. Um she's kind of had to be because she's been married to a really high-profile Christian evangelist pastor for the last 30 years. So she's in that kind of like mega church world. So it's the kind of environment where you can't put a foot wrong. So she's been on her best behavior for 30 years, and life isn't actually as perfect as it seems, and suddenly everything kind of implodes, her marriage implodes, and she realizes she's kind of had enough of putting everyone else first and being a good girl, and because it hasn't really gotten her anywhere in the end. And so she decides to make a list of 50 bad decisions uh before she turns 50. And I'm not sure if I can swear on your podcast, but let's just writes a bucket list. I was gonna say it rhymes with she writes a bucket list. Sorry, it rhymes with bucket list. Um so that's all of the the bad decisions she's she's gonna make to try to shake up her life. Um, but then her family and her friends, the friends that have remained, uh, throw her a few curveballs that kind of derail the plan. So they kind of upend everything. So it's it sounds like it's just a fun romp. It's so much more than that. I think the first chapter or so kind of lulls readers into uh they're gonna get like a Bridget Jones diary kind of fun beach read. And then yeah, it's so much more than that. It goes to some quite confronting and and dark places, some difficult conversations, it's complex and you know, it's um a bit of a bit of everything. So it's more than everything.

SPEAKER_00 2:24

And I was reading, you know, there was humorous parts, there was like different themes that came up, but it, you know, at times I really felt for Grace, all those expectations that uh, you know, you know, society, her um, her environment, and even herself puts on herself. Um, and yes, I I felt like there was a lot of empathy from my part towards Grace. Uh, we were laughing because I'm 49 and I turned 50 soon. Um, so even though so much of the book I couldn't relate to in the sense of her story and her journey, there was actually so much like thinking about, you know, who I am and my identity. And yeah, such a great, such a great book. Rachel, do you want to tell us about um, yeah, like tell us a bit about you and tell us a bit about the writing journey?

SPEAKER_01 3:19

Uh okay, so I uh always wrote when I was a kid, uh, and and I did think I was going to be a writer, and then I just discovered music in my teens and uh started in bands, and writing just kind of like took a back seat because I thought I was going to be Madonna. Clearly, I am not Madonna. Otherwise, I'd be a whole lot. Yeah, not yet. I'd be coming a whole lot of flack at the moment for for Coachella and wearing a corset. So I'm kind of glad I'm not the club. But um, so music took over for quite a while, and then I I went back to uni uh when I was 30 and uh did a journalism degree and creative writing degree, and I won a writing competition during that time, and it just kind of that really shifted my trajectory, and I had my daughter at the time. Uh, so yeah, it's been that was back in 2006. So it's been a 20-year journey of trying to get, you know, trade published. And um, this isn't the first book I've written, and I've come really close a few times. Uh, and I think the reason this book is the one that that has been picked up by a big publisher is because this is actually the first time I've gotten really personal and gone really deep and kind of spilled my guts onto the page. I mean, obviously it's not a memoir, it it's fiction, and Grace is not me and I am not Grace, but uh there are there's a lot of truth in this book, there's a lot of lived experience in this book. And it was really scary to write, but I knew that if I was going to really get somewhere or reach people, and I wanted to write something that really touched people and connected, I was gonna have to like cut my guts open and yeah, yeah, be really vulnerable. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:59

Oh, Rachel, like such a powerful journey story. I mean, I think it makes it all the more special when you actually see your book out there finally, your recognition and all those years and dedication and hard work and persistence.

SPEAKER_01 5:15

Thank you. Yeah, but I the thing is I wouldn't have been able to write it if my own life hadn't imploded back in 2018. And uh that I mean, just as a little aside, a little anecdote, um, the book came about because I was a year out of my divorce and I was in New York. I decided I'd I'd wallowed for a year and a lot of trauma, and it was a lot of putting my life back together. Took a trip to New York, it was supposed to be my life reboot trip. And I alone and I was like, this is I'd I'd been in New York a day. I was having had a lovely flirtation with a bartender at my hotel that evening, and I was thinking I'm 45 and this is great, and I'm just living my best life. And my daughter FaceTimed me from Australia because it was at the time difference, and that's when she dropped the bomb that I was gonna be a grandmother.

SPEAKER_00 6:06

Yeah, wow.

SPEAKER_01 6:07

And I did not react well. I did not react well. I mean, it's all good now. I have two beautiful years and a great relationship with my daughter, but I I I just I lost it. I I it was really confronting because I was starting over and trying to figure out who I was, and all of a sudden, um, and I won't say any spoilers from the book, but there's let's just say there similarities. Um I I didn't know who I was supposed to be then. I was having this whole new identity just kind of thrust upon me and I didn't know how to handle it. So yeah, it was it was a really weird time, but I wouldn't have been able to write this book if I hadn't gone through all of that trauma and the stuff with her and and if my own life hadn't got really messy. It was pretty messy there for a while.

SPEAKER_00 6:55

Yeah, yeah. Wow. And look, I you know, it makes me think about that feeling of waking up, like, and we all do it, like, oh, I do it, maybe everyone doesn't. But you know, some days as a mother, as a parent, as a wife, as a carer, you know, you feel like you're living your life for other people.

SPEAKER_01 7:12

Exactly right.

SPEAKER_00 7:13

And um, yeah, I really enjoyed the journey in the book that the book took me on in uh uh through that time. Rachel, if we're watching anywhere in the world, we're curious about this book. I will put in some links in the show notes to make it easy to connect with you, to connect with the book. But you point us in the direction of where we should go.

SPEAKER_01 7:32

Uh, so I'm primarily uh pretty active on Instagram. I do love my Instagram, so you can find me on Instagram at the RealZeroFox. So it's just a little bit of a play on words with giving Zero Fox. Um, and my website is the same, um, www.therrealzerofox.com. So pretty much anything I'm doing, any events or um any any book news, things like that will be on my Instagram um or on my website. I am also on Facebook, but it's pretty much just Instagram complimentary in my Facebook. So you can find me in all three places.

SPEAKER_00 8:07

Yeah, Rachel, didn't I? I noticed you're on Substack as well. Are you are you on Facebook?

SPEAKER_01 8:11

I'm trying. Like I did have a newsletter a couple of years ago and it was woefully neglected. I am trying to be better with that. Um, so I will be sending out something in the next week, uh, hopefully in the next few days, and I'm going to try to do something at least every few weeks, even if it's just small posts. So I am on Substack as well. And the same at the Real Zero Fox.

SPEAKER_00 8:32

Awesome. Well, I'm on Substack, or Yellow Shelf's on Substack. So I know there's plenty on Substack here. So let I'll put the link in to the show notes. Rachel, are you going to keep writing? Is there plans like yeah?

SPEAKER_01 8:45

I think my brain would explode if I didn't. I don't, I don't currently have a second book deal yet. This was a single book deal, but I'm really hoping that that the book will do well. And I'm working on something new. Well, I'm working on several new at the moment. Um, you know, this book started actually as a TV show I was writing and developing that worked in film and TV. So I'm hoping that there might be, you know, uh an adaptation at some point, as the author hope. But I'm working on some TV uh projects at the moment as well, working on a second book. So absolutely keeping writing.

SPEAKER_00 9:18

Yeah, wonderful. Well, you get to enjoy this one. You should be super proud of your journey and and the book. Thank you so much for joining us, Rachel.

SPEAKER_01 9:27

Thank you, Joe. It's been so nice to talk to you.

SPEAKER_00 9:30

Cheers.