Courage to be Me #author Di Geddes

Courage to Be Me: A story of strength, self-discovery, and the quiet bravery it takes to stay true to yourself

Courage to Be Me is a raw and uplifting memoir of resilience, self-discovery, and the unyielding strength it takes to rebuild a life.

Di shares her journey of seeking validation and self-worth while balancing the demands of nursing, a turbulent marriage, and motherhood. Her world shifts dramatically when she is diagnosed with breast cancer. With honesty and vulnerability, she recounts the physical and emotional toll of the disease, her decision to undergo a bilateral mastectomy, and the solitary path to recovery.

Alongside her health battle, Di reflects on the profound impact of her father's death, her mother's struggle with dementia, and the complexities of love, duty, and family bonds.

Her professional journey weaves through challenges of workplace bullying, ultimately shaping her understanding of leadership, empathy, and courage. Determined to reclaim her independence, Di takes the leap into business ownership - transforming hardship into purpose and building a legacy of compassionate care.

At its heart, Courage to Be Me is a testament to determination, empowerment, and the triumph of never giving up - even when the world insists you are not enough.

To connecr with Di ....
https://www.digeddes.com.au/
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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

It's good afternoon, die Gedis. Welcome to Yellow Shop Die. Thank you very much. Thanks for having me, Joe. Oh, my pleasure. Congratulations. Your debut memoir is out now. Major fee. Congratulations. Tell us all about your book that's stunningly called Courage to Be Me.

SPEAKER_01 0:24

Yeah. It's um, I guess it's worth starting why I wrote it. And I wrote it because I wanted to get stuff out of my head and onto paper. I was carrying a lot of stuff around with me. And I'd attempted, you know, various counseling sessions and got some of the way to getting it out of my head, but not all of it. And as I started to write, I realised this was really the way that was going to work for me. And the other reason I wrote it was because I'm a well, I was 54 when my marriage broke down. No, 50 when my marriage broke down, 55 when I started my business. So there's been a big journey over nearly 10 years now. And that's the age group where women can really lose themselves, I think, you through lots of divorce, because once you go through menopause, you don't have as much of the warm and fuzzies about you, and you're more realistic about life, and you look at the person you've married and you think, well, that was a bad decision. So um, and then you can be left without a home, without money, without so many things. As I was, I had a home because I fought for that, but um, well, I should say I had a mortgage. Um, you know, my whole life changed through a number of events and very dark times, but I wouldn't change any of it for the world because it all made me the person I am now. So I wanted other women who may be at that other end of the journey or midway through to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel to get to where you need to be and be your authentic self, which you may not have been able to be your whole whole life.

SPEAKER_00 1:55

Hmm. And I think, you know, often triggers uh or events or uh you know, times like that in your life, die, are the time to kind of hold the mirror up and have a good look and then work out, you know, uh are these my values, or is is this just what's already field in me? Is this is this the direction I want to go? Um so tell me, Di, you um you know you wrote the book. Tell me about writing the book and that journey. Um, this is your first book, I mentioned that. Um what it was like to be a writer.

SPEAKER_01 2:30

It was hard to start because you know that that first chapter I remember being really difficult. Um, but I loved it. I actually found that I have a real love for writing, which has developed my love of reading now as well. And I've never loved reading, but I love reading to get other people's styles and to see what catches you and drags you into a book is great. Um, yeah, so it was an interesting emotional journey for me because the book is an emotional roller coaster and to relive all of that stuff, um, and sometimes really face it for the first time because when you're busy being a mum, you you know tuck so much away to deal with later, and this was my later, I guess. But overall, a great journey. I'm I'm quite a creative person, and writing's just another way of doing that, so I really enjoyed. And then getting good feedback about it was astonishing to me because when it's your own story, you think, oh, that's my story, you know, I don't know any different. But to get the feedback from women, especially has been fantastic.

SPEAKER_00 3:34

And it's the power in um reading someone else's story, and I say that because I've read many other people's stories, um, you know, is is the ability for you as the reader to connect, make that connection, or you know, a shared experience, um, or in sometimes advice and not feeling alone in what journey you're going through and having um having an author write about it from their experience is a really powerful tool.

SPEAKER_01 4:03

Yeah, absolutely. And divorce is a really lonely time. If you're surrounded by friends who are still married, um they don't understand divorce, and lucky for them, they don't have to, but um, it is an incredibly lonely time. And I think because my boys were older, that made it even lonier because they had their lives. Yeah, like I couldn't even put myself into Lego with them, you know. I had to find my own life again, and and I got the opportunity to completely reinvent myself, which I am well. I say reinvent, I think that person was always there, not allowed to come out for a long time. So now she's um yeah, I'm the person I've wanted to be forever, which is great.

SPEAKER_00 4:41

That's beautiful. And Di, do you want to tell us um who's who's reading, who's giving you feedback? I mean, lots of women, but I was when I read the book, I was like, you know, others, men can get perspective on this.

SPEAKER_01 4:56

Yeah, enjoy reading it. They find it really hard to read, and I'm not sure why that is. I think because I had breast cancer, and there's talk about having a double mastectomy and how that's affected my life and my choice to not get implants, but to have fake boobs in my bra. So I think that sort of stuff they find very uncomfortable. Um, I also think they find it, I think you know, men don't naturally like strong women. They might say they do, but I don't think they do. I think they find them frightening. Um, and I think it shines a mirror on men's behavior during divorce too, which I think they find that incredibly challenging.

SPEAKER_00 5:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:37

The men who have read it though have gen generally been quite close friends. So I think they find hearing about that stuff quite difficult when it's me too. So yeah, I think it'd be great for men to read, but I do think they find it challenging. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:53

And John, Diane, do you want to tell us a little bit about yourself? Um, you mentioned you know you started a business in your 50s, we were chatting off air, you know, you work in the corporate board. Tell us about you and what what we should know.

SPEAKER_01 6:07

Yeah, so I was um born and raised in the western suburbs of Melbourne, very um working class sort of upbringing. Went into nursing when I left school and loved it and still do love it. It's my um the thing I was meant to do. I'm really lucky that I chose the job that was right for me. And um, so I got married at 29, had two beautiful boys. The marriage was never good from day one. We had our first awful before we were married, we weren't good in reality. But I thought love could change things, um, as so many people do. And, you know, people will already be yelling at your podcast, why did she have children? But the book goes through that, I think, and explains we all do things which we probably I don't regret having my children at all, but I regret having them with the man I had them with. Um so I the marriage went on for 21 years and it was unhappy for 21 years. So just before that 21-year mark, at about the 20-year mark, I got breast cancer, which made me, I was very, very lucky, but it made me review okay, what have I got in my life? And the main reason I wanted to survive breast cancer was to still be there for my children because I didn't want my husband to raise them. And I once I said that sentence a few times in my head, I thought, well, why are you here with this man if you don't want him to raise your children? You know, why is it okay for you to put up with the crap? But it's not okay for the kids to be left with that crap. So that made me think I can't do this anymore. And I made the decision that I should have made a long time earlier and um said we need to separate. So then I was left in absolute financial ruin. He took 40,000 out of the mortgage the day before he left. Um, I we had a big mortgage. I had he had debt that I didn't know about that then comes back on me in the settlement, you know, all this. So the day he left, I had $1,000 in the bank and I had to make it work. So with aged parents as well, that I was trying to look after while working, while raising two boys. Then faced some workplace bullying in the jobs I did get into. And you know, I was really at ground zero. I really, really low. And I I think if I hadn't have had my boys, I probably wouldn't be here. I probably wouldn't have found a reason to get up out of bed every day. So I did, and then I found myself in um a really great job in disability care for a year, but it was they were about making money at the end of the day, not about delivering the care that is really important to me. And a number of people said, You should do this, you should do this. And I met one client who said, you know, you should start your own business, and she's an amazing person. She passed away. Karina was her name, and one of those people who sprinkle magic fairy dust on you every time you see them, but you don't know they've done it, and you change as a person with every conversation you have with them. And she convinced me to do it in the backseat of a taxi one day when I was taking her to an appointment. And I started my own business, and we've just gone ahead in leaps and bounds. And it's an amazing successful business that I get joy out of every day, most importantly. We focus on happiness, we don't focus on money, we make money, but that's not our focus at all. Because it's my deep belief if you provide great care, the money will look after itself when it does. So I'm now financially comfortable, which I never thought I would be. I'm completely independent, I'm um a successful businesswoman, which I'd never seen in my future. And, you know, I've been able to travel overseas, been able to do lots of things that even in my marriage I couldn't do. So I've changed, I'm nothing like the person I used to be. And um yeah, I'm really proud of that. So that's the nutshell.

SPEAKER_00 9:58

Yeah, and you know, Diane, sharing this story will will help others because I think you, you know, you mentioned plenty of people face this. Children grow up in households where they see this or they see, you know, choice or lack of choice. Um, and I think sharing your story is incredibly um, you know, has the potential to be really inspiring for people who just don't see a way out.

SPEAKER_01 10:24

Yeah, I hope so. I really hope so. And I as much as I love my boys and as much as I live every day for them still, there had to be a point where I thought it has to be about me, and I have to be better to be the better mum that I can be. And so you've got to put some time into yourself. I mean, it's not a magic trick, no one waved a wand and I was better. It's taken it's not seven or eight years since I separated, and it's taken probably five to seven of those to get to the really good point where I could move on. And I actually sat with my psychologist last week and said, I don't hate him anymore. I don't hate him, I have nothing, and I that's so good to feel that now.

SPEAKER_00 11:07

Yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. And I asked you about the writing experience and writing a memoir. And you, you know, you look you alluded to you you loved it and you juggle a business. Would you write fiction nonfiction? Like, would you write again? Is there that much? Uh you probably don't have a lot of time, but yeah, like tell me, tell me about being an author and um, I would love to write again.

SPEAKER_01 11:33

I was just thinking of it last night, watching a TV show, thinking, you know, would I be any good at fiction? Would I, but I think I'm quite an impatient person. So instead of saying, you know, she sat as a wind, you know, gently washed her hair off her face, I'd say it was a cold day. You know, that's it. You know, I just I don't think I'm flowery enough for fiction. I would love to be. I might be a good children's author. I don't know, I guess I'm I like to be silly with kids. Um and but I am a storyteller, I'm naturally a storyteller. And um I'm quite a humorous person as well, so I can so I was thinking last night, you know, a humorous sort of fiction about a woman might be good and the things we face. But yeah, I would love to write again. I just don't and I will, I just don't know what it will be, and I don't know whether I'll publish or not, but I'll certainly continue to write.

SPEAKER_00 12:25

Yeah, and and like you mentioned, the flowing from writing is reading and just storytelling, story sharing, and story being inspired. So well done, Di.

SPEAKER_01 12:36

Thank you. Stories are so important, I think. They you never know. I always say you never know where you'll plant a seed that will grow into something amazing later on. And we see it all the time in our field. You know, we might meet someone, make a good impression, then not hear from them for a few years, and then they come and give you an amazing amount of business. So you just never know.

SPEAKER_00 12:57

Yeah, that's right. So true. Di, it's been a delight to talk to you and hear about the book. All the best. Thanks for joining us. Thank you so much, Joe. Cheers.